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Monday, October 13 !@#$% 10:40 PM
GIVEN UP ALL HOPE- a revelation... i hope

well, fristly, first day of school was quite easy goin. have a general idea of wad to expect in the next few weeks and boy. i'm not ready man! shit shit shit! but its ok, i shall do it!!!

went to YMCA to collect my pay for F1, superb man! i got 209 dollars! but its a cheque, gotta go bank it in tomorro maybe, after which, my Gate 3 peeps went for dinner at Fish & Co. had loads of fun!
_______________________________________

well, now to explain my Title, haha
hmmmm... today i had a revelation(of some sorts)... i hope
i realise now the feelings i have for this girl is not gonna manefess into anything.

for so long, i have pondered and wondered how my life would change if i confessed my feelings to her, but i realised today, tt maybe... just maybe, i'm not cut out for these kind'sa things

i just like to see her so happy all the time. her face full of excitement and always glowing with enthusiasm. And i realised that i would not be able to live with myself if my relationship with her as friends is ruined.

haiz... it just hurts so much when i think of her, that i'd rather just see her as a really good friend. nothing more... nothing less.

i'm like so turning into an emo man! cant help it.

so newsflash guys! even f i'm happy and enthu in school and in club, i'm not. or rather, i wun be for awhile.
dunno wad i was tryin to accomplish havin so much feelings for her, when deep inside, i kinda knew that it was not gonna work out... AT ALL!!!

BUT ME BEIN ME, LET THOSE FEELINGS CLOUD THE TRUTH

Hopefully, this is the end of my THIRD Major Crush of SP.

i have tried to forget her many times over, but somehow, whenever i'm around her, just cant help but longing for her warmth and i find myself thinkin about her again.

well, guys, for those who read through this whole thing, thanks alot for caring!
as for this problem, i suggest no one approach me about it unless, u know u really can help. other than tt, thank you again and see ya.